shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
