I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
