Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Randomize
