her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize