a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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