A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
