New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
