If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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