Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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