yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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