Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
