why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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