She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
