I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
