He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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