last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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