He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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