If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I understand Curling. That high.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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