Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
