I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
