Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
