During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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