He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
