I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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