Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize