I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
vagina is talking i cant
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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