singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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