Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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