you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
try to milk me bitch
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