mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
