I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
