You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
