I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
