sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
