I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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