im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
