the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
