I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
from now on my penis is your penis
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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