wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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