Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
