i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
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