? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
