But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize