Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
