I can tuck mytits in my pants
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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