If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
