Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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