Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
