it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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