Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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