Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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