Do you still have your period?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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