she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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