So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize