I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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