I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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