Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize